A Defining Moment in Overcoming Drinking and Drugs
Having a moment of clarity during an addiction is a life defining moment. It’s hard to describe to anybody, even fellow addicts in recovery. My spiritual awakening began when I arrived at Pathfinders Recovery Center, and it felt like a true miracle. If you are ready to have your moment of clarity, keep reading to find out what it takes to reach that point.
Having this moment is intensely personal and hard to forget. I truly believe this moment is possible for every person who has dealt with an addiction. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. When I began to meet people in recovery, many of them pointed to this moment as also being the best thing to ever happen to them.
What does it take to make this moment of clarity happen? To put it bluntly, it takes a lot of soul searching and self reflection. When you realize you want to change, you realize that it’s going to be a fight. If you are prepared for that fight and everything that comes with it, it will all make sense.
Keep reading to find out more about my moment of clarity meaning, and how it helped me find lasting recovery with Pathfinders Recovery Centers!
Your Spiritual Awakening Is Right Around The Corner
My drug addiction began when I was in college and quickly led me to a life of crime, uncertainty, and selfishness. I pushed loved ones away, friends, and anybody who tried to steer me in the right direction. I didn’t want to talk about it, I just wanted to continue getting high and never answering for my misdeeds.
The only thing that made sense was getting high. Everything else seemed like a hurdle. Basic every day tasks seemed challenging and unrealistic. I gave up on living my life and pushing myself in any way. It’s hard to look back at my life then and make sense of it. I had gotten to a point where nothing mattered but the drugs.
Feeling this way all the time takes a huge toll on your mental health. Drugs change your behavior and turn you against everyone who doesn’t enable you. My relationship to drugs and alcohol felt like it would be life lasting. I had no hope and the idea of living my life to the fullest didn’t matter. Some people truly need to hit rock bottom to get better. That’s what happened to me.
Having An Epiphany During Addiction
It’s hard to pinpoint how, when, and why the moment of clarity occurs. For me personally, it was when I woke up in jail with no idea how I got there. I had been drinking heavily, and apparently assaulted a police officer. Sitting in that jail cell and looking at the dried blood on my hands made me feel like such a failure.
It was in that moment that the epiphany happened. I realized I was slowly killing myself. I was hurting my body, my mind, and my soul. It finally occurred to me the reality of my situation. I was completely enslaved to my addiction. My brain was not my own. For once in my addiction, I was finally aware of what I had become.
This feeling was overpowering. I sat there and cried for a long time, but something was different. I didn’t feel hopeless. For the first time, I questioned myself. I discovered the truth of my situation. I thought about seeking help, the first time I had ever had that thought. I embraced the idea of getting better. How great leaving my addiction behind would feel. It could be a great story.
Making The Moment Of Clarity Happen
It’s uncomfortable to question yourself and realize your life is unfulfilling. It’s a hard lesson to learn. I decided in that moment, sitting in that cell, my life was worth living. I was ready to try new things I had never tried. I was ready to confront my behavior and talk myself through the struggle.
When I got out of jail, I called a family member and asked if they would take me to recovery. They were stunned. I had never tried recovery. I never wanted to. It was another incredible moment in my step toward getting better. For the first time in a long time, I felt human. I felt all the feelings rush over me. It was time for me to embrace the idea of giving up my drinking and drug use.
When I went into detox, I was proud of myself for taking that first step. It was very uncomfortable, but as they say in recovery, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. At Pathfinders, I gained new insights into myself and my personality. I learned about how my past trauma had led me down this dark path. I began to seek the light.
When The Moment Passes, The Fight Begins
A moment of clarity doesn’t last forever. Once you begin your recovery journey, your not going to feel one hundred percent great the whole time. There will be times of doubt. But the insight I gained through this process taught me to embrace these feelings of doubt just as much as the hopeful feelings. I had my epiphany, now it was time for me to do the work and understand that it wasn’t going to be easy.
Every step of recovery is a challenge. Addiction is all consuming. Being under the influence feels safe and comforting when your in the thick of it. You don’t see how terrible it is until you take a step back and look at it with a different mindset. It’s frightening how much you can lull yourself into continuing your habit. You feel like you have no control.
When I began to recover from my addiction, group therapy helped a lot. Meeting other supportive people going through such a complicated process such as recovery pushed me to confront my fears and my anxiety. I knew that I could potentially relapse, but I accepted this possibility and didn’t let the fear control me.
Living Your Best Life In Recovery
Clarity teaches you a lot about yourself. We all have moments where we question ourselves and our path. This is especially true when you become sober. When you are newly sober, you are feeling all sorts of feelings that you were avoiding before. Gaining insight into yourself allows you to not only help yourself, but help others too.
When you accept that you are an addict, it’s easy to welcome in new ideas. You may not have all the answers, but you have a good blueprint to work from. Understanding this part of the process gives you strength. Being in a group setting with other former addicts gives you a sense of familiarity and kinship. When I hear others talk about their struggle, it makes me want to keep moving forward in my own battle.
I lead by example these days, and I tell my story to whoever is open to hearing it. My objective is to help others while also helping myself. I can’t ignore the fact that I need supportive people around me. I spend a lot of my time now talking to others in recovery and learning about their experience. It’s important to talk about your experience, whether it’s with a friend, loved one, or a fellow recovering addict.
Expect The Unexpected
In sobriety, you have to keep in mind that your addiction isn’t too far in the distance. The essence of sobriety is embracing tough moments. We all have them. Being sober doesn’t mean your going to be in a great mood all the time. Recovery can prepare you for this, but when your alone with your thoughts, it can still be hard to hang on. Painful moments may come, but they can be balanced with moments of joy.
When you seek help, it works if you are ready to make it work. There’s no better feeling than putting a priority on your mental and physical health. The answer to getting clean and staying clean is to constantly work on yourself. You don’t get sober and then not have to do anything else. You must accept that it’s an ongoing process.
When you get to a point where you decide to be the best person you can be, you’ll notice that your behavior will start to change. When you put in the work, you will notice it very quickly. When I think of where I came from, it’s hard to imagine that I was ever comfortable living that lifestyle. It doesn’t help that the stigma attached to addiction makes a lot of people not seek help.
Epiphanies Aren’t The Same For Everyone.
The way you experience your moment of clarity is very personal to you. The decision to get clean looks different for everyone. As different as it may be from person to person, there are similarities. Acknowledging your addictive behavior and how it affects the people around you is a universal truth. Taking a look in the mirror is a big part of it.
My loved ones see the progress that I have made, and they make sure to tell me what a great job I’ve done. I don’t let this go to my head either. I know that I’ve enriched my life and the lives of those around me, but I try to remain humble. Moments of weakness still occur, but I don’t let myself be a prisoner of those moments. I feel them and I let them go.
Giving Yourself a Chance at Clarity
When you put your heart and soul into anything, you will often see the benefits come back to you. Making changes in your life is hard, but having a plan in place guides you in the right direction. I enjoy every day and every moment that I am clean, even if I’m not in the greatest mood. The months and years that you stay clean add up. Being sober can not just feel good, it can be the greatest feeling you’ve ever had.
If you’re struggling, or seeking that moment of clarity, why not give yourself a chance a sobriety and the support to sort things out with Pathfinders. Give them a call, I know I’m glad I did!